Jesus taught his followers to forgive one another and even to love their enemies. Why is forgiveness so difficult? What prevents us from forgiving others when we have been wronged or sinned against? Here are a few starters-

– Holding something over someone appeals to our sin-nature & our pride.
– We want the other person to admit the wrongdoing is all their fault
-We fear being taken advantage of in the future, if we forgive now.
– Forgiveness forces us to deal with our own desire for revenge/retaliation.
– We sense that we are unable to absorb the hurt of the incident

In his book Forgiveness, Tim Keller points out two inadequate views of forgiveness:

1. The Therapeutic View- Forgiveness is basically for the sake of the victim, to heal and move on. In this view, there is no demand for justice, because it is entirely based on the individual moving past the hurt he or she experienced.
2. The Justice Only View- In this thinking, forgiveness is not needed or sought, because getting a result of justice is more important. If Justice is achieved, then there is no need to forgive.

In the church, David Powlison has noted the common half-truths Christians tend to practice:

 “If you forgive in your heart, you don’t need to go to the other person.”

“Unless the other person asks, you don’t need to forgive.”

Both of these are self-focused and allow us to rationalize away the clear commands of Jesus:

Luke 17:3–4

[3] Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, [4] and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” (ESV)

Mark 11:25

[25] And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (ESV)